I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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