As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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