Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
