I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
