having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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