make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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