I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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