You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
