he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
vagina is talking i cant
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
