D3 body, D1 cock
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i think my cat just said my name.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
