the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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