And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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