i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I seem to have left my pride at pride
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
