Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
