Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
