is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
