that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
