i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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