I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
