Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
