i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
