and you said cock pushups were impossible
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
