Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
