He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
