My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
