Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
