you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The power of my boobs compel you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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