Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
