i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
