She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
