I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize