I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
