my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
