I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love having hate sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
