did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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