just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
