i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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