She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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