fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
