It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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