I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
