She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
