he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
