i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
