She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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