The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
