If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
