Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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