yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
