Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
